Discover Why Some Lovers Have Cruel Hearts - Part One

No matter if you're a man or a woman, chances are, you've been hurt in the past by a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife. They supposedly loved you, and you did everything that you could think of to show them love, dedication, respect, and compassion... but what you received in return was less than satisfactory, and possibly downright cruel.

It has happened to me. And it is likely to happen to anyone because it has nothing to do with you or who you are... it has to do with them.

The only preventative you have is to understand this better, condition yourself to recognize the warning signs, and to know how to effectively handle the situation (depending on if it's a relationship/ situation that has hope) or get yourself OUT of the relationship/ situation all together.

There are, unfortunately, many negative "meta programs" about men that women can develop over their childhood and adolescent years.

Let's look at this scenario...

A girl sees her father walk out on her mother when she is 7 years old. Her mother is left to care for her and her siblings. She is raised by a mother that is always stressed, complains about men, frets about money, do some extraordinary things to support her children, and brings up the daughter in a world that suggests that women take care of everything- and men will walk out on a woman and their children in an instant.

She gains contempt for men from that day that her father walked out, when she was 7 years old. Chances are, as she gets older, she will witness her mother dating other men- and she may even see her mother utilizing men for other conveniences and assets like money, manual labor around the house, etc...

Now, this doesn't happen to all women who's fathers leave and are brought up in divorced households... but this does happen in some cases...

But let's look at the "meta program" that is likely to form in this scenario:

The girl grows up to be a woman. She has the desire to have children... but deep down she is afraid of men. She feels that men will leave in an instant and that men aren't faithful and can't be trusted. She feels that if you do have a man around, that you should utilize him for what you can, while you can, and that men "owe" women because they're unfaithful liars.

She may not even think she feels this way, and she would never express it in this manner... but, subconsciously, she has fear & anger from her childhood and any other bad debacles she may have witnessed her mother having, and she will do what she must to protect herself and her children.

If you look at many of the things that women do that could be considered dishonest, or deceitful, they are instinctual, primal responses to protect herself and her offspring; but, this day in time, they are demonstrated in a much different manner.

This day in time, they can be demonstrated by:

- Using his money, while saving hers 

- Using his credit/ credit cards, while saving hers 

- Getting a man to pay for things, while she can 

- Buying essentials (which includes clothes) when the opportunity is present 

- Gathering and hording items when they are present

If a woman demonstrates such signs, and has these types of fears and anger towards men... It can be worked on. There is hope.

You must realize that this type of anger and fear comes from years and years of conditioning though- and to make her to feel secure, safe, protected, etc... will take time and effort.

However, the effort is actually not all that great- once you know how to effectively deliver what she needs.

What a woman like this needs, is security. She needs to know that the man she is with is safe, that he cares, that he is committed and consistent, that he won't leave, that he is honest, and that he has authority and morals.

I started out using this scenario and this example, because it is very common and it is something that can be handled and a loving, healthy relationship can still come from it!!! However, there are many other reasons to why some people (men and women) can demonstrate "cruel" intentions towards their lover.

One thing you must condition yourself to recognize are the traits of narcissism and even those of a sociopath. One out of every twenty-five people are sociopath. And Narcissism is also very predominant in our society.

Jordan Michael writes on a variety of subjects and recommends Women and Men Cafe

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jordan_Michael

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8971667